Looking back at my last blog post, I realize it has been an embarrassingly long time since I’ve last written anything on here. I’d like to blame my dismal attempt at staying current on my lack of free time now that I have an infant, but truth be told; I was just as lazy pre-parenthood and I work less now. Perhaps I was hoping that my wordpress account had been hacked by that Heartbleed virus and someone else had been writing posts in my place this whole time. See how current I am? But not to worry, I’m back! You probably thought you lost me to the black hole that is parenthood. Believe me, it was a close one. It’s true what they say. Motherhood changes you. It engulfs your very being and before you know it, you own a minivan.
I’m trying to embrace these new changes. I understand I have lost a considerable amount of “coolness” and my time spent dancing in front of the mirror pretending to be a rock star has certainly taken a hit. After reading that last sentence I realize perhaps I never had any perceived “coolness” after all. But it’s not like I’m completely lost in the haze yet. I don’t spend every waking minute on sites like Babycenter and Pinterest in an effort to be a better caregiver by learning how to properly fold a fitted sheet. In fact, I try to limit my time spent on mommy porn to 3 hours a day. My remaining time is usually spent worrying about something ridiculous and then making a mental note to Google it during the next 3-hour slot. Will that one fingernail always be crooked? How do you teach your baby to chew? How much is too much carpet licking?
Sure there have been times when my husband returns from work and asks how my day was and my response has been “Well, I unloaded the dishwasher, so ya know…winning!” There really is nothing like realizing you haven’t even found the time to urinate all day. Heck, I’m still trying to get around to taking some photos of my little one for her 3 month photo album and she was born last May. But seriously, look how cute she is:
It is because of this newfound change in lifestyle that I have often thought of changing the theme of this blog to something having to do with the hilarity of being a parent. But I’ve decided I will not sit idly by as my entire definition of self transforms from a complex set of indefinable qualities to “Aren’t you insert name here’s Mom?” So, I will do my best to vary my future posts to include topical current events as often as my brain allows me those thoughts (currently about 20% of the time and dwindling).
I would commit to more frequent posts from now on but realistically, it’s far more likely that my time will be spent making silly faces while playing guitar, changing diapers, dancing around the living room in my bathrobe, changing diapers, playing peek-a-boo…42 times in a row, and changing diapers. I just didn’t want anyone to think I lost my edge. I’m sure as hell not getting a minivan…yet.
jordansfunny 