What Does Your Bumper Sticker Say About You?

We’ve all seen them.  There are the ski bum cars that are loaded with so many bumper stickers you have to wonder whether the owner even reads the ones they put on or if they’re just going for some kind of a record.  Then there’s the Lexus with the mild-mannered man-with-glasses driving that was kind enough to destroy the paint on his $50,00 car to display a sticker claiming his child is an honor student.  But what do these bumper stickers really say about the people that proudly present them?  Read below to find out:

This bumper sticker belongs to a liberal, fun-loving, agnostic hippy who just wants everyone to get along.  They are not apt to road rage or honking.  In fact, when provoked, they prefer to wave and smile.  Most likely seen on a Subaru or a Toyota Prius.

This bumper sticker belongs to an immature male, or a sexually confused female who is acting like an immature male.  No matter what the subject of Calvin’s piss (whether it be a sport’s team or a make of car) this statement is meant to condone a sort of elitism (go figure).  Most likely seen on a lifted pick-up truck.  Also look for a ball sack hanging from the tow hitch.

This bumper sticker belongs to a family (duh).  Most likely this was the mother’s idea as a cute way to show off.  Look honey, now we can gloat about our two perfect children and house pets for the rest of the world to envy.  The father has either gone along with it because his wife suggested it, or because it was a convenient way of keeping count.  Most likely seen on a minivan.  In fact, if not found on a minivan, take a picture.  That’s a rarity.

CAUTION: Weapons are aboard this vehicle.  No matter how slow the old man driving this automobile is going on a busy highway, DO NOT attempt to pass. This bumper sticker is proudly presented simply because the second amendment wouldn’t fit.  Most likely seen on an older pickup or a creepy van.

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2 thoughts on “What Does Your Bumper Sticker Say About You?

  1. My best friend placed some of those stick-figure decals on her macho paramedic friend’s truck. Two women and 5 cats. It was a priceless prank.

  2. Still looking for the “Coexist” to put on my Suburu just in time to get a new car and need another one. I’m usually a little wary about offending people, but in this case, I think the onerous side of the debate falls to the person attempting to contend coexistence is a negative thing 🙂

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